Cliche

Never knew just what I had

till what I had was gone...

I knew these words

to be cliché,

but never thought I live the day

when their overuse rang true.

But here I am, in a foreign land

thinkin’ all bout home.

And I know they say that the grass is greener

and to try and live in the now,

but home is where the heart is, (and here in South Korea,)

my heart is none to be foun’.

Clarity

So, here I am. Six months have passed. This is the longest time I have ever been out of the US. In fact, the longest time prior to now was in college when I studied abroad for 3.5 months. With that said, being away this has already and in continuing to affect me in a number of ways.

When I set out for Korea, I not only intended to explore a foreign culture, scratch my travel itch, and to experience a new rhythm of life, but I also wanted to put myself in a completely new context and in doing so be able to use that stark contrast to gain clarity on many different aspects of my life.

Suffice to say, SoKo has been helping me gain clarity in countless personal and professional ways. If you want to hear some specifics on either of those topics, I'd enjoy sharing them with you individually.

Anyway, over the past two months, I haven't blogged too much. I think as I mentioned before, mostly it's due to the fact that much of SoKo's novelty has worn off, thus I don't feel the need to write about the day-to-day mundane aspects in a public forum, but I also think it's because I've just been very much in my head about a lot of different topics. Again, let's chat individually if you are interested.

I don't know what I'm trying to say here.

Maybe it's that here at six months in I feel as though I've gotten most of the clarity for which I was searching. So, while it feels good to be at this point, it also feels like I've now achieved the goal of being here. I guess that means I need a new one. Or at the very least, I need to become comfortable in existing (if only for the next few months) without a "big life goal" looming overhead. I like having purpose in everything I do, so this'll be hard, but maybe another important lesson to learn.

Empathy

So, it's been nearly two months since the last time I posted, but I guess that's simply because I've been caught up in life.

In any case, here's the brief rundown on something that happened tonight.

My school had an end of the year dinner celebration. Everyone was drinking. Nothing new thus far. However, by this point in the year (6 months in) people don't pamper and coddle me in the same way they used to. Therefore, tonight I was sitting at a table where virtually no one spoke English. Suffice to say, I did not understand anything going on around me. In other words, I was sitting at a table where people were talking and interacting but I did not understand anything so I was not able to engage.

Itching to leave, I suddenly realized that this must be the same way my Mom feels in many loud and crowded social situations. It was super frustrating and make me completely uninterested in being there. In any case, when I return home I'll have a new understanding for how Mom feels.

Also, once my co-teacher was liquored up enough to tell me his feelings about my beard, he basically said that I must shave it because it makes me look like a "sexual criminal." That man...

In any case, I just wanted to jot these thoughts down, so now I'm done.

Chili!

That is NOT dog.

In fact, right now, the air in my apartment is pungent with the smell of chili, and not having tasted any even resembling Mexican food in the past 4 months, this is a real treat.

Before I go any further (and frankly, there isn't much further to go), I have to add that this was all made possible because of a wonderful care package that my Mom sent and which arrived today.


In short, she sent me, a big ol' bag of chili powder (not the super spicy Cayen type, but the more mild and sweet Ancho chili type that's used when making a big pot of chili), some taco seasoning, and Tumeric. And Mom, you should know, you just expanded my culinary horizons over here to the point that I don't think I'm ever coming home ;-) But really, with only these few key ingredients, I'm now going to go hog wild cooking.

Until moving here, I've always loved to cook, but I didn't realize how much I loved to cook. Today, as I excitedly tore open the box that arrived and had my nose filled by all the wonderful scents that had seeped out of the spice packages, I realized just how much I love to cook.

Well, that's about all. I can't wait another minute to eat! It smells sooooo good.

Thanks Mom, you hit a grand slam with this one :-)

Woof Woof

So, I ate dog soup (boshingtang).

It looks like this:




This is what they look like pre-soup. The breed is similar to Chow. It's called Nuerongi or Hwangu.
















In any case, the meat was quite gamey/musky, and frankly, I think it was a first-time/last-time experience all wrapped up in one. But you know what they say, "When in South Korea...."

And what else...

Nothing too interesting going on these days.

Oh, well, aside from my attempt to watch a movie in a theater. In brief, my friends Mark, Zach, Brian and I traveled about and hour to see a movie, and then we ended up at the wrong theater. So, we had to travel about another twenty minutes to get to the correct theater, which we arrived at with five minutes to spare, only to find out that they canceled the movie (due to under attendance) but neglected to update the English version of their website.

In sum, thank you SoKo for the delicious dog, but you can just keep your unreliable movie listings!

:-)

Thoughts...

The first step is ALWAYS the hardest.


Also...what do you do when you see someone not fulfilling their potential?
I think the answer is, do nothing. Yeah, DO nothing, but say something. Express to that person how you see her/him. Express to that person how you see her/him and how it's different from where they are now.

For example, you could tell the person..."I see you as successful, able to be happy, able to be comfortable..." etc.

I think helping someone to actualize their potential is similar to helping someone quit cigarettes. You can't MAKE someone quit smoking, just like you can't MAKE someone actualize their potential. The person has to quit because they want to quit. They have to actualize because they want to....And this applies in all regards. From the person in the dead end job to the person in the dead end relationship, you can't MAKE anyone DO anything. You help people gain the confidence they need to act on their own. MAKING someone do something is hollow, and regardless what that person DOES, their achievement will be built on a foundation upon which YOU have built, and thus once you get tired of maintaining that foundation, the persons achievement will crumble and fall.

For example, if you MAKE someone quite smoking, that person will go right back to smoking as soon as you stop positively supporting them. In fact, it is unlikely you could make her/him do it in the first place.

Sometimes, a person needs you to help the start to build their foundation of change, but if you comprise too much of that persons foundation, as soon as you pull away, again, they'll crumble.

In fact, maybe it's best to simply help a person build their own foundation, a foundation comprised 100% of their desire to change/achieve/whatever...yeah, that's the most sure bet for lasting change.

So, the question becomes, how do you get someone to desire that process? Well, I think you just have to tell that person your vision of how they will look post change/achievement/transformation. If someone is jobless, you'd tell them that you can see them gainfully employed. If you know someone who is depressed, you tell them that you can see them happy. If you know someone who is without direction, you tell them that you can imagine them driving forth with laser like focus. If you know someone who is in a dead end relationship, you tell them you can see them in a relationship w/ the potential to grow into something beautiful and fulfilling.


And all these ends...I think it's most important to remember the following.

NEVER GIVE UP...Especially, never give up on yourself, never give up on family, and never give up on friends.


Random stuff...I know...I hope you could bear w/ all that.


Distilled: Tell people what you believe they CAN BE and what they CAN DO and let them use that positivity as the activation energy for them defining and then actualizing their own personal growth.

Boo yah!

Skiing (T minus one month)

So, I'm surely not going to be getting in as many days on the slopes this year as I did last year, but frankly, I'm not worried. I think the days I do get in will be all that much more enjoyable. In any case, I'll be hitting the slopes on January 7th and 8th and then again on the 21st, and frankly, I can't wait.

In other news, I visited a goat farm last weekend, and it was pretty darn interesting. Wage Farm (a play on the word "waygook" which mans foreigner) is owned and operated by Doug Huffer and his wife Bonghwa. I never found out her last name, and since most Korean women don't surrender their maiden name, I'm assuming it's not Bonghwa Huffer, but frankly, that's completely tangential to this entire account. Moving on...Erik, Marc, and I, on a bitterly cold Saturday, all made the 2 hour journey to Sa-Ra (a small town outside of Gyongju) and got to see the farm. More specifically, we got to see the two goats (Stella and Rosa...blue and red collars respectively) that that Bonghwa and Doug own. In any case, I was under the impression that we'd show up, chat for a bit tour the "farm," buy some delicious goat cheese (which Doug makes by hand) and then head back to Eonyong. Suffice to say, due to Doug and Bonghwa's overwhelming hospitality, I think we spent nearly 3 hours in their house, drinking coffee, talking about Doug's job as a professor at Gyongju University and Bonghwa's past job of being a professor of sculpture at some school in Italy. We discovered that Bonghwa speaks fluent Italian, and that Doug is originally from Kansas. And if they sound eccentric from those two details alone, you've gotten the correct vibe.

To back up a little bit...

Doug has been living in SoKo for about 6 years. He married Bonghwa in the past year (I think). They live in a very traditional Korean home made of unprocessed logs and some old-school building techniques. Check out the picture.

















In any case, the place was super cozy, and seemed quite perfect for them. To briefly describe Doug (and I know this post is ALLL over the place), he is a very quiet but deeply intelligent and witty guy. He took a little while to warm up to us, but regardless of that fact, he puts off a very friendly vibe right away.

I don't know what else to say. Doug and Bonghwa are living that type of life that the New York Times would like to write some "Person of Interest" blerb all about.

And as romantic as their artsy/goat-cheese-cottage-industry/cross-cultural life seems, Doug did add that he'd like to move back to the states somewhere in the near future.

I guess only time will tell if that turns out to be true.